If there was no stress in my life, I'd be a millionaire to
what are some of the special that much have faces
I'm not having a cell phone what I'm it in minutes.
Not a lot of fans to close this society is moving very fast
and kid has to deal with all the pain that goes with that nowadays
so that could become very stressful also
the most stressful things in my life is.
If there was no stress in my life.
I will say that I would not have learned a lot of things because everything would
have won 2 smoove menu, you have to go through stress to be able to live.
This is reality Avenue I maybe would and I'm Pat and Chalmers
we I have popular middle school to talk about the topic stress
stress is not simply a no-ball a car runs teenagers have to do without
all the time that that was what we have to make sure that we address this whole
topic because often time teenagers and of succumbing to drugs and just
to deal with the whole issue stress absolutely there's healthy
and unhealthy ways of dealing with stress we see it in our jobs as
counselors every day. So we want to get some skills to learn
how to deal with the healthy way so in the end we're in a better place
Hines a don't under estimate, the amount of stress that today's generation
goes through a metal detector terrorist
threat bombs in Iraq, it's a scary moment, a lot of ways today
that the nanny and now I'm an adult Wahoo discussion and listen because
I guarantee you'll be able to live with that story that well.
What are some of the stress sort of sped up my child is facing.
My cause stress on myself, I have 2 jobs because I want to you know I want to
look great when I go back to school ran. And I work at Taco
Bell so I due to low blows like.
I'd like to get all this money and it's making the inside.
And mentally and my friends want to hang out with me over the summertime and I
can't tell them no. So you know and of doing all of this and
it distresses me out man to mentally and physically.
And the more stress you I think the later you just stay up that night
because you're just so where everything's going on way
that you're exhausted and the US and you're here to bomb like the little
things with a slight tick you off and like I could definitely agree with that
exact it's like it's I think.
People that like are under stress. They have so many opportunities in so
many different like choices to pick that they want to try and
do it all within like 4 years a high school yet to try to see
like who they really are what they want to do and you know who they want to
become one day and it's just sometimes it's too much because yet like
looking at now even though I'm only going to attend grade I still think
the graduating is right around the corner and I know it's just going to
come to be like that it and I am looking at it now I'm like I have no
money for college. I'm getting my license and here I have no money for a
car. I have you know, I'm stressing out about school trying to get the grades
so you know college will accept me, it's like all these things coming out coming
right at you so fast that you're trying to do everything at once just so you get
everything done by the time you graduate you can go to the next step.
Yeah, and they say all don't let the little the little things specially out
but really they're not little bit now that is they all of a to bigger things
and you know that when you're under that pressure so that the knowledge
makes you even more stress you all want to be successful in the Boulder
and have the dream job, the gene House and the white the fences
was parents to parents want everything to be better for their kids
that are like what you see where I am go do a 100 times more than that go and
make the but you have to do that and
more because if that's not there it's going to happen sometime or another
where they're going to get a slap in the face and if they don't do that when it's
in the mid to late night yen
teenage dress is equivalent to adult stress and equivalent to
a child's dressed like as it invented something that I mean it's maybe
if you look back like say a 5 year-old is a giving a lollipop
so he's going to addressing about it. But in his mind he hasn't experienced
the things that a teenager and adult have which is just as incredible as
stressing over paying a bill like them.
I think parents don't always see that yeah they see as that well
I've been there and done that and as
significant was you instead of the world, yeah, his teenage
life is what you expand your first love most the time, your
first job, your first be hired fired.
I do have to say though teenagers are are just the same as parents and
teenagers Taylor's our younger kids because it was just the ball feel
that I decide whatever but to them this is just the
more, you know it's just as important as it is just as stressful.
We'll take a lot of time to go is just to get on. Well. Yeah, I did so when
you have so many things to do that so he's a get overwhelmed. And I looked out
the worst case they all come home of the late president cry because I know I have
militants to do it or didn't like 2 hours side literally
I'll take a dive air and I'm fully aware that I will write down
everything have to do and the due date on it and how they begin to
organize it and then as a kid that it is why birthing on them like that they are
going to say yeah just being any organization is a King.
Because sometimes in your head when you're thinking about everything it's so
much more in your head that when you write it down that road down stupefying
I'm like the only have 3 things to know and I had it was sort
of as having. Yeah I've learned from my
mistakes and one thing I've learned is to learn to say no to
something you know that's one of the hardest things like somebody, you know
you go out of your way or somebody asking this something you really don't
want to do and go OK anything back. I wish I didn't do it
was in and then you're like OK, well, what you know one thing you have to
learn is this a now and that's one thing I've learned and that's how you can
avoid avoids being stressed.
Something parents can do to for children
were under a lot of stress is just a listen. Set the example all
a motivate them and teach them how to be
organized and teach them how to be citizens of America
of the future, I mean teach them the proper thing is that of
you know compensating for little mistakes I think they should not
sugarcoat things and tell them let them know honestly that if they don't make
the right decisions now that can seriously mess of their life.
Because by telling me that getting a getting a F you know it's OK, you know
you can do better next time you have to do better this time that determines
you know basically what you're going to be it it shows you where that big
on the grades that again yet but I think that puts a lot more stress. I think so
too did I wouldn't it doesn't the same time, but you don't want to lie to your
kids and tell them it's not going to affect you when it will because later
you than you know you're going to be like well, my parent didn't tell me.
I think parents should let them make them so yes, let's when the cells that
make you in the rally, what's more important and what is less important
because teenagers tend to stress about less important things when really what
the parents to guide them to tell them what they should be stressing about so
that they're less stressful about less important things I think parents need to
be understanding about the stress lot of
people parents understand that the stress is a lot to us maybe
lets you with us, it's like it's taking over us and don't under estimate,
the runner if you give examples when they tell you not to
do something and how it affected their life another thing with parents
you can.
Okay as you can love your child in a way that might not seem
like the materialist big word love you know you can like
say they're having trouble paying their cell phone bill their teammates say they
have a teenager who's 18 has a job and can't pay their cell phone bill
if you're a parent by pay his bills. You know that's not
T J ing love and responsibility, you know it may seem
like it since I'm going to let him work for his money that
eye out for free is not to like man, I'm afraid you know he's might
think I don't love him, but really yet your job as a parent all throughout
life where your child is 26 or 10, you have to teach
them and keep motivating and setting the example and look at the
different types. Oh, yeah, I think that
parents don't big the only way they can
grow is to deal with that stress can see that they themselves can move
on with that because the parents don't you just take it away to a
stress away from you there shouldn't be the guy exactly
exactly they're going to have problems in the future.
I think a way to cope with stress that is just when
you're very overwhelmed with something just like plan a day where you
don't have to worry about anything you know if you're a girl got a public
is get a pint of Ben Jerry's judge it works in any
of that Lake guys get together with a bunch of friends and you know go hang
out go do something that you normally
would do to get your mind off of things just so you know that you
can still
you know be a kid because you can't just expect to do everything all at once you
still have to you know have fun not even like a whole David just an hour day and
our day to buy or sell for elections, don't worry about anything don't worry
was gorgeous don't worry about anything to take that have election mind yet
exact more even going to bed earlier.
That is like when I'm stressed and have like a book to read in that one day
I read the book for Howard.
We'll take a break another, I read the book take a break you have to give
yourself a break during shags only because of you sitting there reading the
book like 5 hours straight your minds racing in not comprehending
you have to be bogus you just have to you have to allow yourself time to
breathe give us all of that tree and in no way you can focus is by
taking little breaks like that doesn't like yeah, just
feel like I mean we get really stressed out I put on some music for 5.10 minutes
listen to it but around what I want to do that and come right back to it and
I'm good to go.
You have to relax your mind in a back focus cousin. I think like if you have
nothing to look forward to like well if I get so much of this guy you know I can
do this if you just say well no I can't do anything at the work, it's just going
make matters worse in Iraq and why do any of that yet have the kind of have
something to look forward to words like a white knight to get this done, but you
know, you know, at least a half-hour I get to go do this and then I can worry
about the next.
I think you should know your limitations and not try to take on things that
you know you can't handle.
We just heard from the student, I'll tell you after what
they have to show that it really made me realize how much we underestimate the
public pressure that they have to deal with now available here from government
Hugh Robertson at Amy.
Tell me what is different bring to the table in terms of the whole issue of
stress.
Devon exemplifies the ability to take
Strasse and cope with it effectively. Yes today, he's incredibly
successful. He's on MTV room Raiders 17
magazine's sexiest men but it's his journey his journey
through the stress he overcame in his early years that
has made him the man he gets and that's what I can't wait to hear about
wow sounds like an interesting person lives he would govern has to say.
Teenagers really do experience Ruth stressed that when I grew up I had
a 12 years though before I was a preteen I lost my mother as they
say made it well my father to me he didn't want me so at 12 years.
Had no mother no father had 18 year-old
sister sassy to care my niece and my nephew.
Young assistant and my cousin, 5 people in one household one
else. She's 18 so that that's just all alone, they went
and 13 had to do with not having a father not having anyone around me
except her, but she was working a lot of thought to get into boxing now as we
get the anger out because I was real real because working or ice work
in McDonald's, them we're going to Gonzalez and even dot possible because
you have been as they knew it you will if you don't want to be there and this
happy go lucky guy too far in making people laugh you know within out of the
sand and was angry because they have to go to work very next day
angry and that is young guy here making all these jokes and laughing side
again I had to get the anger because you could feel and hear from someone that
you can feel that Genesee of your happiness so then sitting here
thinking, I've got to take this out Starbucks and taking the anger on on
gloves and not as sunny you don't but angry we get in the ring yet
to learn to get to anger out problems and train for so so that was
about as went out and allowed me to get my God videogames out
of you know how even says I was a little kid the day my mother passed away,
I was paysinger
even I remember the days when I was simply a tardy this is going way back in
the day a tar with my mother played ping-pong with little food
to operate it with my mom. It was it was fine because those those
things right that always pay my because video games would take my mind off what
I was dealing with Isis some countries may was the thing but with the Khan says
it wasn't think about ousting the how and if these level how it and at night
not a combat as I'm to nothing but levels and probably was levels of my
life, it's not I defeated in video games like 11 my life that I'm trying to beat
this ever seen turning to start is adversity in the form of video game
OK number one is real easy like this does get the job is okay that the
portions, Israel easy that di di, di di of winning the down is what easy
OK and said it was given up searching for Devon 3rd that was actually a
benefit advocated in the 4th that was is actually getting a job so all these
different over to go into in a video game probable that the real life and
that I'm not as a modem think about it now that site is it was just the
games as another way to get to that the stress out that was done with everything
to my life they would tend to not be beautiful cousin every believe that
creativity from the beginning is watching how these things are created
push me to do something else was he using not not been to make people laugh
and charismatic all this stuff to be able to educate people about a time
the black qc domestic violence drug abuse all these different
things would have it happen from all these other expenses that in my life
when you want to let you got to really work hard for it and so I put that in
all my model log that use all across the country even performing on
the Apollo all these of these when up before he was a man looks so different.
He performs has before with all this passion of seen my entire
life, he work 9 to 5 making little to nothing would have but I do is to pass
and because at the feed the family that dogs and cats and the feed them they had
to keep doing it said to get a chance to relax so he got a dispassionate so
use that I use my I use that energy and a passion to to farm so
to say my my model laws that have done all across the country.
We just had a chance to hear from Devon I definitely agree he's a powerfully
on that what captivated me the most is how he was able to utilize and
challenges and use it as a stepping stone to T great a high now
I think we have another piece from Devon again what is that all about and.
Demon's going to perform press now and he's going to play a man who
had a lot of success but a lot of stress
because stress is good and stresses fat and they're both the same with pressure
and then how you cope with this pressure and the stress will determine your path
in life unfortunately, the character he's going to play chose the
wrong path.
Its never ending with him a lift the when you have to share with us now.
That am I started to that I was
mad screen that I love that I read it I
let you pick up a foot long to get rid of any right to embody the
shooting are like ma'am, whereby new menu will bet menu of any kind you
want to go to yes that the as you I like you I want to
you and then you make 71st Allen you went down it is
P about you have my first and you know you'd be into
it like a new draft pick coming through as mean it, yeah I got that out
right real fan and I'm like man that we may blow men Goodman.
Mo motel in it. You want to you want. It was the most
we have light me now is what we met that I really hits you
what he had left the room and the little bit that out right cap
get a little bit and you know that I did
it and that I just I think as women we in and get
out and we can now tell you at the first sign is what we you know you never get
is has the first to tell you that's the way I can do that like that's how
I did it and I had a weave it funny and I moved over
to intended to crack and then I got out a cracked window to cocaine
and I just I started slowing down and the start of his
legs is an and they said it will cut me cut less got it, but it was because they
were taking.
There was a you know me.
What I guess I get get ready in the room
get its stuff.
What it coming up the team.
It could cut my scholarship.
The star she needed some arm.
I started stunners the firmament House
feel it in my face.
It can do and I assume use the word is doing and it turns out is
due at H I V
but I want to be is is P and
I want to be somebody.
Somebody people looked up to
not going across the country telling people about my diseases.
But I don't have any more.
And asked my story
may was sufficient.
I love that performance from Devon I find that really inspiring
because you know you we heard from him and you heard what his life
was like as a 13 year-old amount of stress and pressure and how difficult
it was and yet look at his performance and I'm like wow.
What can I do with my life.
Powerfully on there like I said earlier now a little bit of fielding key who's
an expert in teen stress. He has years of experience what would troubled teen,
you know a lot of some of the do's and don'ts some of the methods in the vi so
that we can effectively deal with stress not only feel so will feel
loved one as well.
Stress is the body's physical and mental
a rate that in just 2 pressure that is placed on it.
Many times as pressure that a person has no control over stress is the body's
way of reacting to change.
One thing he remembers everyone has stress a lot of times parents
may not acknowledge that teenagers don't have stress because once a person
over comes a situation in their life
that situation loses its power a lot of times to cause stress
so situations that parents may have experienced that are similar to
situations are children may be going through because the parent has overcome
that situation and now has new types of stress they no
longer see the old stress. As real.
The other thing too is to remember that teenagers today are growing up with
different types of stress on them than their parents may have had
a taste teenager has the stress of
post 911 of worrying about terrorists of
having to perhaps and go through
security Gates when they enter their School of having to be patted down
before they go to concerts those are things they're probably their parents
did not have to go through.
Stress cannot be prevented saying that we don't know we
don't know how to prevent stress and and to be honest. We don't really want to
prevent stress. We want to learn how to manage stress to knowledge that there
are going to be things in life that are going to cause us stress know how to
respond to it and also to recognize that
stresses I'm not always wanted or
needed, but they're all are also other times where we need stress in order
to function.
How can I best do stressed there are several do's and don'ts
related stress. Management, the first thing that a person should do is
acknowledge that they have stress on the
body is amazing instrument
and it needs to be told sometimes what it's experiencing if if
I tell myself, I'm feeling stress. I then can respond to
it. There was a book out a long time ago called the road less traveled
and one of the rules that the book talked about was life is difficult.
However, once a person admits that life is difficult it's no longer is
difficult for them we actually transcend or go past what
we thought was true and and experience a different level, the same with stress
if I you want to respond to stress very important that a person tells herself
I'm doing this activity to lessen my stress on many times.
Teenagers or people will say they like to watch TV to relieve
stress.
If you don't tell your body that you're watching TV to relieve stress, you
probably will not get as much stress relief from watching it if you
physically sit down from the TV set and say I know, I'm stressed
I'm going to watch TV to relieve my stress.
You'll be amazed at how much more the stress will be relieved one of the
things not to do is you don't want to drink large amounts of caffeine
that's very important don't want to use some type of alcohol or other type of
drug to relieve stress. You don't want to do any type of negative activity
to relieve stress. It's very important that when we're talking about
stress relief that we adjust our breathing make sure that we're breathing
in a comfortable way that we surround herself an environment as comfortable as
possible. If we have the ability to take a step back
and just relax the and make sure we tell our body that
were relaxing on those are important things that a person can do to manage
stress to relieve stress and to
hopefully overcome stress and make it work to their benefit.
To help alleviate stress with a child parents can talk to their
children about stress. They can acknowledge that a child's stress.
Israel. One of the things to remember is
that any feeling a person is haven't is a valid feeling
if a if a child tells me that they're feeling sad, you have I don't
think they should be sad. They're feeling is very real and
the knowledge meant that a child is feeling stress, it's very important
apparent not only confirms but and validates it but that day except
in understand that at that time that's the most important thing to
a child.
A true expert I really enjoy he was able to put stress and it's
right perspective because the bottom line is that you cannot run away from
stress is how you deal with stress if you do with dress appropriately
that helped build character and also face offensive within the what.
Stress is our own internal thermometer it's our body's way of telling
us when it's time to take action we can see the signs and symptoms of stress
in our behavior, our emotions are
relationships and then we can use the skills that the students talked
about our that fills shared.
If final thought from Julie Devon and
teller on path to farmers and I mean he would thank you for watching reality
out.
And advice, I would you take to his attorney dou was out due to stress to
the breath because lots of New England take with even as as becoming ago will
take the breast which are going to sit back.
A lot of times you get so a new so-called distressed you just want to
just I hate to say this. This so that study by the think
think about solving the problem as opposed to the problem, no thing about
this is going bad, this is going back to school that the 70's abuse and although
this is going bad.
The thing about steps know to make that was going bad go right.
Teenagers remember just going to be part of your everyday life just learn it's
learning how to deal with the stress is most important.
I'm sure I can speak for every teenager, it when I say that we try and grow up so
fast and you try to take on more than we can handle, but no matter what we're
going to make mistakes are always going need you to be there for us no matter
what.
For further information or if you would care to attend a workshop about this
topic or any other shows please contact the Office of prevention
programs at 754-321-2568
or go to our website at Broward prevention dot org.